i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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