dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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