They should really pass out barf bags in church
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
