why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He shit in the fireplace
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize