I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
