Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
