you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
