at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
