why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
