So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
