and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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