i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
