Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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