Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
