I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
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We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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