Only a mothe r could love this liver
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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