So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
