i just google imaged poop.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
