Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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