I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
don't judge my taste in strippers
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
