yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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