Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
