i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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