he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
