margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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