An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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