did you get engaged???
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
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he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
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I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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