So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You don't make any sense
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