i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
