I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
