she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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