There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
no you cant smoke seaweed
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Randomize
