how can u be prego again
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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