one might say we're banned from that church
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
