you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize