she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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