Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
