I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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