Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
