Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
