Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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