They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
