Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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