You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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