I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
