Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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