I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
