Plan B is the new Plan A
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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