I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
