Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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