He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
