nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
