and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
