Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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