he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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