My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
