...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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